After an evening with less that attentive Denny I’m sitting keeping my misery company by doing laundry. That being said, awhile ago I took an Ambien, and well, it feels as if it may have just kicked it. Considering I can’t even read what I’m typing and even the old no fail home row key logic is failing me. It’s a sign that I am past reasonable communication.

Even with my groggy state of mind I can tell you that my surgery is set for Aug 4th. So I guess my “normal” time is limited. At least that’s how it feels from where I sit right now. The thought that life as I know it is coming to an end has basically taken over my thoughts. And honestly they have COMPLETELY taken over. The surgery itself is one thing, the potential aftermath is something else entirely. It’s the aftermath that has be all wound up. I keep counting moments and days before D DAY and I want to make sure I fill them up. Denny and I are so happy, our marriage is fantastic really and I don’t want anything to change. I’m pretty darn comfortable in the place we are right now, and I fear I’ll lose some of that. I’m sure that makes little or no sense at all, but is the best way to explain it.

I leave for CHA on Thursday around 9am. I’m looking forward to the trip if for no other reason than to keep me distracted and focused on anything but my upcoming hospital stay. I’m desperate for that distraction and that might be what ends up holding me together. I’m looking forward to seeing some friends I haven’t seen in a long time, so that’s always nice. Seeing new product isn’t so bad either. I’ve had emails coming in over the last week or so giving little peeks here and there. Exciting to see what people come up with.

Well, I may be able to toss this load into the dryer and call it a night, err I guess it’s almost tomorrow by now, so I’m not sure what to call it! Regardless have a good one…

~j